हर लड़की की तरह नेहा के भी अपनी शादी और ससुराल को लेके बचपन से ही काफी सपने थे और आज पहली बार वो अपने ससुराल में कदम रख रही थी।
नेहा के पति ऋषि का भरा पूरा परिवार है 5 भाई बहन और बहुत से रिश्तेदार सब एक साथ रहते है वहीं नेहा मां पिता के प्यार में पली बढ़ी इकलौती संतान होने के नाते उसने कभी अपने घर पे इतने लोग देखे नहीं थे। उसने सोचा कि शायद उसे भाई बहन का भी प्यार मिल जाएगा।
ऋषि से नेहा ने अपने माता – पिता के इक्षा के विरुद्ध जा के शादी की थी उसकी मां ने बार बार समझाया था कि जिस घर को वो चुन रही है वहां जिम्मेदारी और रूढ़िवादी परंपराओं के अलावा कुछ नहीं है पर नेहा को समझ नई आया।
अपने ससुराल में घुसते ही सबने उसे बताया कि यहां घर के पुरुषों के सामने घूंघट ओढ़ कर चलना होता है और उनसे दूरी भी बना के रखना होता है। उसने कभी अपने घर में बचपन में अपने दादी को ऐसे घूंघट ओढ़े देखा था पर समय के साथ ये परंपरा चली गई थी।
ससुराल में आके उसे पता चला कि उसका कोई अपना कमरा तक नहीं है। पति से दूर हर रात दूसरी औरतों के साथ सो सो के परेशान होने लगी। उसे समझ में आने लगा कि उसकी मां कितनी दूरदर्शी और सही थी। बहू को ससुराल में घुसते ही मिलने लगा जिम्मेदारियों का ज्ञान पर एक नई बहू के सुख और सुभिधा का किसी ने नहीं सोचा।
कभी नेहा के घूंघट नहीं ओढ़ने पे पीठ पीछे बुराई होने लगी तो कभी कोई हर बात पे उसके पति से जा के शिकायत लगाने लगा। जिनके खुद के घर नहीं बसे और जो अपने ससुराल में पैर पटक के आयी वो सभी औरतें भी नेहा को अपनी अच्छाई के प्रमाण पत्र, ज्ञान और ताने देते नजर आए।
सबने बताया कि उसका ये ससुराल बहुत अच्छा है और ज्यादा पाबंदी भी नहीं पर नेहा तो शायद दूसरे ग्रह से है जहां के लोग इज्जत देते है, बहू कि सुख सूभिधा का ध्यान रखते है, जहां बहू को लक्ष्मी माना जाता है।
नेहा को यहां कई चेहरे दिखे, बिन पैदी के लोटे दिखे जो की एक जगह से सुनके दूसरी जगह लुढ़कते रहते, पंचायत करने वाले,अपनी सुभीधा देखने वाले, दूसरो पे आरोप लगाने वाले और सबसे बढ़ी बात पूरा घर एक दूसरे पे कीचड़ उछालने में लगा रहता और फिर उसी कीचड़ में एक साथ गले मिला के रहते थे।
इन सब के बीच बस एक चीज अच्छी थी नेहा के लिए वो है ऋषि।
उसे एक समझदार और अच्छा पति मिला था पर क्या नेहा इतनी सारी घर कि जिम्मेदारी उठा पाएगी?
क्या नेहा को चुपचाप सुनना चाहिए?
क्या ये कोलाहल वाला ससुराल नेहा के दांपत्य जीवन को प्रभावित करेगा?
हमने कभी गुलामी को अनुभव नहीं किया क्योंकि हम आज़ाद भारत में पैदा हुए है पर पल पल एक गुलामी महसूस कि है जो समाज कि जटिल प्रक्रिया ने समझाया है।
जहां एक और हम सबको पता है कि आज पूरी दुनिया कोरोना वायरस से लड़ रही है और हमारा देश उतार चढाव से आज भी जूझ रहा है।
एक तरफ जहां उभरते हुए एक कलाकार सुशांत सिंह राजपूत की मौत से सवाल उठते है निपोटिज्म पर तो दूसरी ओर हमारे न्याय व्यवस्था पर।
जहां राम मंदिर का निर्माण हुआ वहीं दूसरी ओर कहीं आग लगा दिया गया।
हम सभी जानते है कि देश करप्शन, गरीबी, सोशल इनिक्वालिटी, घरेलू हिंसा , असाक्षरता से पीड़ित हैं।
भारतीय समाज मुख्यतः पितृसत्तात्मक है पर ये केवल एक समस्या नई है में आज बात करना चाहती हूं हर घर में रोज होने वाली उन बातों को जिन्हें हम नजरंदाज कर देते है इसलिए कि हमें बात को बढावा नहीं देना ।
गलत ये नहीं है जब ये कहां जाए कि एक लड़की को ढंग के कपड़े पहने चाहिए पर कूटनीति और पाखंड तब होता है जब हम अपनी बेटी को बिकिनी पहनने कि भी अनुमति देते है और बहू को पल्लू करने बोलते है।
हमें ससुराल में कैसे रहना है इसकी सीख हम अपने बच्चों को देने से ज्यादा बहू को देना पसंद करते है।
माँ एक बहुत बड़ा शब्द होता है वो अपने बच्चे की हर संभव रक्षा करती है पर दूसरे घर से आई बेटी को अपमानित करती है और दूसरे घरवालों को भी बढ़ावा देती है वो गलत है साथ ही कहीं ना कहीं ये भी सच है कि एक औरत ही औरत की सबसे बड़ी दुश्मन है।
2020 में जीने वाले हमलोग सोच के मामले में आज भी 18 वीं सदी में जी रहे है।
अब हमें लड़की ऐसी चाहिए जो पढ़ी लिखी, सुन्दर और अच्छे घर से हो पर उसी के साथ गूंगी और बहरी भी होनी चाहिए।
रुढ़िवादी आज भी कायम है। छोटे शहरों और गांवों में पर्दा प्रथा का आज भी प्रचलन है। दूसरे की कामिया निकालना तो एक आम बात है पर अपनी कमिया नहीं दिखती। कहते है कि कोई सही नहीं और गलत भी नहीं क्योंकि अपने आप को कभी कोई गलत मानता ही नहीं है।
दहेज कि प्रथा तो काफी आम है और जो लोग आजकल दहेज नहीं मांगते उम्मीद करते है कि शादी में बहुत अच्छे गिफ्ट्स मिले और बहुत अच्छी शादी हो ताकि सबको दिखा सके भले ही एक पिता इसके लिए अपनी सारी जमा पूंजी ही ना लगा दे।
आज भी हमारे समाज में इतनी कुरीतियों और अन्धविश्वास को जगह मिली है कि लोग जादू टोना जैसी चीजों पे विश्वास करते है। नींबू मिर्च लगाना हो या फिर बिल्ली का रास्ता काटना हम सब मानते आए हैं।
जिस देश में देवी की पूजा होती है वहां पुजारिन काम दिखते है। लक्ष्मी घरेलू हिंसा कि शिकार है तो सरस्वती को पढ़ने नहीं दिया जाता। कितने घरों में आज भी औरतों का काम पे जाना गलत माना जाता है। आए दिन न्यूज में छोटे बच्चो के साथ हुए रेप की घटनाओं को पढ़ते है।
ऐसे बहुत से मुद्दे है जिनसे हमें आजादी आज तक नहीं मिली है मैंने तो संक्षेप में अपनी बात रखी हैं।
After Amit Shah, now Dr Indranil Basu Ray who is an Indian-American cardiologist has written a letter to Mamta Banerjee.
I am compelled to point out the fact that as West Bengal is exceptionally crowded, the virus, if it infects a particular locality, will spread like wildfire, affecting thousands and killing quite a few.We cannot take anything for granted as you will regret if thousands are infected, and hundreds start dying because of a lack of strictness in preventing the spread and appropriate detection of COVID-19.
Indranil Basu Ray
By now, West Bengal has more than 2060+ cases. Indranil also added:
Hushing up such infection and not taking appropriate precautions like isolation would lead to death and destruction, which I certainly know that you would not like as the Chief Minister of my state,
Indranil Basu Ray
If we check the state-wise list of confirmed patients in India after Maharashtra Gujarat is the second state to have the highest number of covid-19 patients while West Bengal is at 8th position with 2000+ cases so why so many letters are been written to Mamta?
Are all the people biased and trying to just target Mamata?
It’s because of the number of cases might be more but the state is hiding the actual numbers?
I am getting a lot of messages and request to write something on the way West-Bengal is dealing with Coronavirus. People from Bengal are asking my opinion and thoughts on the same. It’s sad that the citizens of West-Bengal are upset and worried by the way the state government is handling the situation.
On this blog, I am just sharing my analysis, it will be too early for me to put forward any opinion for such a sensitive cause.
Let’s start the journey of analysis with me and find out together.
These are my questions which came to my mind. Help me to find answers.
Are political leaders with decades-old rivalries still playing politics during this pandemic?
What the fight is all about? Is it ego or insecurity?
If Mamta is playing politics at this situation, will it hit back?
While students are tweeting Mamta to bring them back from Kota, why she has not taken any steps yet?
Only the two states, Bihar and WB don’t want their students and migrants back, why?
Will politics affect the common man?
Are sweets so vital for Bengalis, that they won’t be able to survive for a few days that the government is bound to open meat markets and sweet shops?
Is Centre really trying to intervene and blame Mamta?
The central government decided the hotspots without survey and statistics, how?
Why didn’t centre sent teams to MP or Gujarat first, as they sent to Kolkata?
As Mamata and supporters are continuously saying that they lack PPE kits and testing kits because of the biased government, is that true?
Why it is taking 5 days for test results to come out in Bengal when it is 2 days for other states.
Let’s try to find out the answers in this blog.
What happened till date in West Bengal?
On 4th march, Mamata alleged that people are creating chaos over CoronaVirus to suppress the riots in Delhi. She said;
“Today some people are shouting corona, corona [coronavirus] a bit too much. Yes, it’s a dreaded disease but doesn’t create panic. Some (TV) channels are creating hype over it to suppress Delhi violence.
On 17th March, a young boy was detected positive for COVID-19 in West Bengal who returned from London. This was the first case reported.
On the 18th of March, she asked people not to be irresponsible if they are having CoronaVirus symptoms also she ordered the state police to take stern action those who are spreading fake news.
On the earlier days of lockdown, even the media and the opposition parties applauded the way she addressed the media and people of West-Bengal. Mamta did announce that the state government will create a fund of 200 crores to deal with coronavirus.
By 25th March, the entire Kolkata Medical college was turned into medical facility to treat COVID-19 patients.
Now how the game changed? Let’s understand.
Politics- A dangerous game to play during this pandemic.
Coronavirus did change the course of Indian politics. Along with that, also exposed not only the mentality of politicians and media people but also the common men.
We are not just bearing brunt of economic crisis but the world is burning with communists and brutal and ruthless Indians.
Whenever I see the photo of the poor Hindu monk’s face who got killed by the mob at Palghar I do shiver that how people killed a person to death. The wound was not even healed and today I read another news of the death of 2 more Hindu monks.
Mamata Banerjee in the early days of April said that Coronavirus is not a communal disease and politics must not be indulged into it.
Later on, she mentioned that the areas must not be divided as hotspots. Where the whole country was fighting with coronavirus, recognizing hotspots and seal them she, on the other hand, gave it a term “sensitive areas”.
Is this because of her Muslim vote bank?
If we see the past and learn from it, Narendra Modi has always been known for turning unfavourable circumstances in his favour. As he is taking strong steps and trying to save his citizens from the virus even the entire world is praising him. This is the golden opportunity for BJP to enter into the West Bengal. If we see the history, BJP never ruled West-Bengal. We saw in 2014 when BJP got only 2 seats and in 2019 BJP managed to get 18 seats out of 42 which was remarkable. TMC has to be worried about this surge and any mismanagement can lead them to lose the next election.
The Bengal Chief Minister was clear of locking horns with the Prime Minister since the beginning of the fight against Coronavirus. She refused the plea of lighting lamps. Although she left the decision of lighting lamps to the citizens of the respective state. Most of the people switched off the lights for 9 minutes but didn’t lit lamps or candles as far as I know. When I spoke with few, I was surprised to know that they did not light the candles because of fear of retaliation.
What we are seeing, the only state government which turned out to be doing bizarre acts to control COVID-19. Where everyone is requesting including the prime minister to get united Mamata is holding daily press conferences to claim and state how the state is discriminated. Is that so?
TMC claims that the government is biased towards West-Bengal.
Let’s see if the government is biased. What steps the government has taken by far for the states:
Government of India has allowed states for additional borrowing and the limit is set at GSDP of States as per fiscal responsibility and FRBM act.
The government of India has ensured that they will give free treatment to COVID-19. Every state has set-up quarantined centres but Mamata is asking the people to stay put and quarantine themselves in their own homes because it’s difficult to arrange facilities for everyone. But what if the situation gets out of control and we need immediate medical assistance.
The government is providing PPE kits of International standards to every state. Where Mamata raised her questions on the colour of PPE kits and on the other side, media reported misuse of PPE kits.
The blog has already become too long to read. Let me cover the rest of the topics on my upcoming blogs related to Mamata dealing with Coronavirus.
It is high time that the politicians forget about politics and fight against the deadly virus which is mutating very fast. Scientist have already reported that the virus has mutated 10 times by now.
Otherwise, if anyone has watched Game of Thrones it will be difficult to win over the virus. As from the first season of GOT, we know “Winter is coming” but the rulers we’re so busy winning over lands and ruling that even though the finally defeated the nightwalkers, it left disastrous results.
Recently, I saw the ads of Four more shots, please! again. Last year, my friends did praise about the web-series but I assumed that it might be inspired by Kareena Kapoor’s Veerey Di Wedding and I decided to skip it because I wasn’t interested in watching any show based on feminism which shows how women have all rights to be badass.
This year, as we are in lockdown there is sufficient time to watch shows which varies by our taste.
So I started with Season 1 last Thursday night and finished the last episode of season 2 on Saturday afternoon.
I just loved the web-series. I tell you why?
Review in my way:
I am not going to write here the review for that you can just google it and find many articles and blogs on the same. Mine is a little twisted, I am not here to simply narrate the story but to make you understand why we must watch it. This web series is about four girls and the journey of their life. Why I liked the plot so much is because
All the actors have done justice to their acting.
Hats of to the leading ladies, all the four have justified their given roles and are a perfect fit.
Damini (Sayani Gupta), Umang (Bani J), Anjana (Kirti Kulhari) and Siddhi (Maanvi Gaagro) so the four girls met at a bar a few years back and bonded together.
The beautifully scripted storyline begins with someone’s success to others sorrow and sadness due to personal problems.
It actually shows the bond of friends and how important is it to have real friends in life.
Many of the times, we listen to others and do what pleases us because we trust a stranger more than others and we intentionally like to fall in the trap. Just like Anjana, who believed in someone.
Sidhi’s character shows how the family controls her since childhood and how she deals with body-shaming and finally starts to love herself.
In our society, we girls are grown and adapted the way our family and friends body-shame us, make fun of us. If we do something good, our own family doubt on our capabilities.
In my family, I am being fat-shamed and body-shamed since childhood. In many families, even in-laws mock and body-shame.
One of my cousins mocked at me for having readers and having fans on my page. Where this blog is even liked by Rangita Pritish Nandy and Maanvi Gagroo.
One of my knowns keeps abusing and threatening me when I give my views and opinions related to politics.
Though it was not required the way she gained the confidence, learned self-love and discovers her skills and abilities.
Bani J as Umang is a bisexual and falls in love with Samaira (Lisa Ray).
Umang’s character was actually interesting, it showed how she wanted to live her life with her own individuality. Being a Punjabi village girl she transformed herself, sustained and survived. Though her partner initially refused to admit their relationship later on everything goes well and they head towards marriage.
The one thing, that Umang said, at last, was not to choose a person who keeps career over you and try to mould someone according to own. I fully agree, there must be mutual concern and agreement. A relationship must always be equal in the sense of loving, adjusting, understanding, compromising and sacrificing. I can say that Bani was a real fit for the character.
Damini’s character is about a girl who is a journalist and founder of her company. She has a strong will, striking confidence, responsibility and maturity. Her, life shows different shades related to different topics be it office politics, anti-nationalism, righteousness. She is someone having a strong will-power, writing about and standing by the truth.
The story covers topics like misogyny, inequalities, trolling. It’s actually difficult for girls to survive even in Modern India where there are so many idiots in this world. Even on Facebook, so many people keep messaging, calling continuously unnecessarily from Facebook messenger.
Anjana is a lawyer and excellent at her work, however, her personal life is a total mess and she tries to fix out all the issues with her ex-husband. Trying to equally balance her life.
Being a successful lawyer, even she deals with the misogynistic behaviour of her boss. In my working career, even I have faced the same issue where higher authorities recommended my name for promotion based on my performance, but my immediate boss suggested a male colleague of mine because he could handle it better as he will not have to deal with home responsibilities.
Her character throws life about how difficult it is to raise a child, being a single mother, open relationship, infidelity, adultery.
I just loved her dress sense along with her makeover and lip-shades.
This is a complete entertainment during the lockdown. You can easily complete watching all the episode in just a days time.
Apart from the characters, you will love the editing, story-plot, sudden change of emotions in the storyline.
It’s a complete binge time for girls. You can rejuvenate your girl gangs memories while watching it and miss your friends.
Four more shots is bold, witty, fun to watch, delightful, glamourous, it gives you a message between all the glamour and shines of life.
Cinematography is very good.
While you are sitting at your homes you will be happy to virtually tour Istanbul, Jaipur, Goa and even you will love them to watch walking freely on streets and spending time in bars.
The web-series will remind you of FRIENDS as well. Just the coffee shop turned into a bar.
The series will make you miss your sleeping over at friends place, gossip and sharing.
Make you miss your friends and recollect the memories when they were with you during your wedding.
It will make you miss and encourage to plan a trip after things get normal.
Current update: Just a few minutes before, Mumbai police arrested Ajaz Khan for allegedly uploading an objectionable Facebook post.
As per TOI, Ajaz khan has been charged under section 153A and others of the IPC for promoting enmity among communities. He was arrested for the same reason in last year, July.
He was summoned to Khar police station in connection to the comment he made on the Facebook live session.
It was said that while being live on Facebook he has made an objectionable comment over religion and tried to inflame a rift in society basis religion. This video has already been viewed by more than 20 lac viewers.
As by ABP Live, a police complaint has also been registered at Amboli Police station. An advocate, Ali Kaashif Khan has filed a written complaint against Rangoli.
Rangoli had stooped too low now for a cheap publicity stunt. The world struggling with a lot of issues due to Corona pandemic, Rangoli is busy garnering cheap publicity for herself and taking undue advantage of the situation with her malicious posts targeting one community.
Ali Kaashif Khan
Now it remains to be seen, will police arrest Rangoli or not on similar lines of the arrest of Ajaz Khan?
As we all know, Rangoli Chandel who is the sister of Kangana Ranaut whose account is suspended by Twitter. On the 15th of April, she tweeted
A Jamati died of Corona when police and doctors went to check their families they were attacked and killed, secular media,make these Mulla’s+ secular media stand in a line and shoot them dead…f****k the history they may call us Nazis who cares,life is more imp than fake image
In no time, the tweeted started getting likes and people shared and retweeted. The problem was that she didn’t share any information related to her statement.
Many of them reported against the tweet and requested Twitter India to suspend the account and Mumbai police to arrest her.
Let’s see the tweets of Farah Khan and other’s who reported about Rangoli’s statement and are now supporting Twitter India after the suspension of her account.
When Farah Khan, a jewellery designer tweeted and urged twitter India and Mumbai police to suspend the account. Rangoli did reply and indicated towards drugs.
Meanwhile, someone actually tweeted in a funny way by saying that Hrithik Roshan’s fans will be happy to know that Rangoli’s account is suspended.
Many came in support for Rangoli and now some of them want Twitter to consider people who abuse Hindu religion and Gods like Ajaz Khan. In fact, some of them even targeted Babita Phogat as well. Have a look
Do you think Ajaz Khan’s account shall be suspended?
Meanwhile, some have their own opinions:
Babita Phogat mentioned in her tweet that Coronavirus is the 2nd largest problem of India, illiterate Jamati’s ranks first.
Now people want the suspension of her account.
Meanwhile, have a look at some other recent tweets of Rangoli also it’s known that both sisters use the same account.
There are two sides to every coin, on one side you find a happy relationship where the married couples are happy as they are able to spend time together.
As we are in the lockdown phase, many women are stuck to their houses, everyone doesn’t seem to have a simple and happy life. Some do survive in this toxic environment, where they are abused by family members and as everyone has not much now, some become victim and a few love to create problems.
While people are avoiding the virus, they are also facing challenges by staying at home. Children are giving a hard time as they need a lot of attention and care, they love to play and get some time with friends. The lockdown has forced the kids to stay at home. They either watch television the whole day, fight with siblings, play at home or other problems.
During office con calls, I hear the voices of my seniors whole time asking their kids to be silent.
The kids don’t understand why their parents are unable to give them time when they are at home.
Women are in a greater risk of becoming a victim and similar incidents have been reported from different countries.
Based on my learnings from different articles shared by News18, The New York times, psychiatrists, views of my lawyer friends, opinions of some other friends and family members of mine, I thought of writing and sharing some useful tips:
But before I share the tips let’s first understand what are the different forms of abuse:
Abuse is not just about power and control, people do it out of the purpose to create troubles in other’s lives as well. A few families member can take advantage of this situation to create troubles in several ways, let’s see how:
Not providing shelter, driving them away from their house. Say Corona or no corona effect, we have witnessed such events where family members forced their daughter-in-law to leave the house which led her to live a miserable life.
Emotional and verbal abusing: Now as there is not much work, people have time, and instead of building and maintaining a healthy relationship a few choose to abuse others.
Family politics has increased, people have more time to call each other, gossip and play with other’s emotions leading to domestic terrorism or intimate terrorism.
I was taken aback when I read that a few are not providing masks to the women, allow them to wash hands or use sanitizer. They send the women out to buy groceries thinking that she might get infected by the virus and die.
Can you believe that? These Covidiots, don’t understand that if she contracts the same, all in her contact will also gets the same.
Many counties across the world like the UK, Brazil, Spain, China, the US, Italy, France, Australia etc are reporting a panicking rise.
As the burden of work for women has increased, rather than raising the hand to help, the perpetrators are loving to enjoy the time relaxing.
According to a sociologist who studies abusive relationships, domestic violence goes up whenever families spend more time together, such as the Christmas and summer vacations, she said.
As entire India is in a lockdown state, Neha found herself all the time in the kitchen working all the time and trying to resolve the problems or fighting with her husband.
In another house, Fatima is holding her 3 years and 11 years old child, her husband began to beat her and locked her along with the children in a room. The kids and mother are starving for three days.
Somewhere in Delhi, Twinkle’s husband got frustrated as he is unable to meet his friends, drink alcohol and enjoy outside food and releases his frustration on his wife, the poor girl was bleeding and marks were all over her body. As his husband chocked her, her neck was in pain.
According to a Beijing-based NGO dedicated to combating violence against women says that there are cases reported of insecure husbands, who are keeping their wives under surveillance.
I feel the cases are rising in countries like America, China and the UK as the women are brave enough to take a stand. In India, whenever a woman wants to make a decision, she first thinks about society, parents and children. Calling the police will be the last option.
According to The Guardian, in Hubei province, domestic violence has tripled down.
If you are reading this, please imagine:
Staying in fear with a person yet limited options to move away
Getting body-shamed and fat-shamed
Deliberate poking by family members to create trouble.
Abusing and criticising
Controlling by every means
A home which is the safest place to many but a few are trapped inside with an abuser.
As News18 shared contact numbers, hereby I have just copied and pasted here.
Here are some phone numbers that can help you:
Help Age India: 1800-180-1253
Dignity Foundation: 080 2654 2229
If you suspect that a child might be facing or witnessing abuse at home, call the police at 100 or Childline at 1098.